wala: July 2008

Thursday, July 31, 2008

dear clark

hey, how are you doing lately? i want you to know that i'm coming back to my first love. yehey! (let me say this fcuking thing for i am quite, very quite, drunk). i disappointed you too many times for leaving the band. from team guilty to team fatal. but now, seriously, im coming back to my first love. i just have to invest again first for my stuff (guitar, new Zoom and probably a new amplifier). i'm so excited, my dear friend.! ^_^ you know that you're all i wanted to be my co-guitarist. you're an asshole, my friend. i wanna make most of the riffs with you, as i burst all my emotions inside. damn it! i can't wait for the next freakin' gig! i wanna show the world what i am, and so as we are, capable of, with you of course as my co-guitarist. dear friend, let's wait for kem and we'll be rockin' manila with him! let's wait till we form the ever awaited badong band. yey! of course, with our metal-er friend, boyem. he'll be our drummer.! damn it man, i can't wait to jam with you again! i do hope i could buy that damn SG guitar. i need more moolah, man, would you offer me some? at last, i'll be releasing all my stress with my first, and always, love. fcuk you man, we'll have a damn hard drinking session by the time i go there at our place.! we'll be rocking your house, dude!

let's get our damn heads bangin'!

i missed that fckin' harmonics and all the all the out-of-this-world shredding, man! well, also with my ever favorite artificial harmonics. damn man! let's get it on dude.!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

frustration release at intramuros

nung walang pasok, eto ang trip ko. akala ko walang pasok pti mga estudyante sa intra, pero mali ako.

later that day, i went to cbn asia for some work. gabi na ako natapos at habang naglalakad along buendia pauwi, i realized that i'm totally missing her. damn.

i wanna do a high speed sa edsa at magdrive all night. damn it.

nakakatawa

nung bata pa lang ako, high school, meron akong nililigawan. eh di ayun, ligaw ligaw ek ek. tapos sabi ko sa sarili ko, pag ako nabigo pa dito, papasok na talaga ako sa seminaryo.

dati kasi, naging active ako sa youth congress. isa ako sa mga sakristan at lagi kaming pumupunta sa ibat ibang lugar and talk about God's greatness. i met this two brothers, bo. simon and bo. justin (not their real name. nakuha yung names na yun sa Bible). eh di ayun, marami rami din kami. three of my schoolmates, tas from ibang school na yung ibang kasama. madalas kami nag kikita kita nun. then one time, nag uusap kami ni bo. justin about "calling", he made me realize na "hey, am i called to be a priest? hmm gusto ko yata." so ayun, na-settle sa utak ko na gusto ko nga.

then came ung niligwan ko. then eventually siniraan ako ng isang kaibigan ko dun. but i dont have any grudge on him, napatawad ko na siya. nabigo ako pero, hindi pa rin ako nag decide na pumasok sa seminaryo. then came another one. we really became friends that i almost fell in love with her. pero hindi talo eh. hindi pa rin ako natinag. sabi ko,"Lord, isa na lang. pag nabigo talaga ako papasok na talaga ako sa seminaryo."

there were even friends na nag joke sa akin na pag natuloy daw ako sa pagpapari, baka daw magkaroon ng bagong rendition sakin yung mga church songs. baka daw maging rakrakan. biniro din ako ni padre osong regarding dun dati. baka nga daw ganun yung mangyari. nakakatawa nga eh. nakakatuwa din.

during the time na naghahanap na ako ng mapapasukan sa college, a good friend of mine who is a dominican priest sa letran, si father naps, invited me to have an exam sa UST seminary. na schedule na niya ako. hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero sabi niya may aura ako for priesthood. although hindi directly sinabi at hindi exact words na yun yung sinabi niya. something like that lang. pero hindi ako natuloy for some reasons. napunta ako sa AB-CA.

then andaming dumating na kabiguan. at yung latest, pinaka-ewan. pinakamasakit. darn. hindi ko sinunod yung sinabi ko kay Papa God, na isa na lang papasok na talaga ako sa seminaryo. ang tigas ng ulo ko. pero weirdly, ewan ko ha, consistent yung pagpaparamdam nun saken. ewan, basta.

last sunday, nandito sa amin si father rex. then yung isang tita ko nagbiro ba naman na magpapari daw ako. sabi ni father rex, "mag girlfriend ka muna..." weirdly, sakto yung biro nila sa status ko. hindi ko alam kung anong ibig sabihin nito.

i don't know if this is a sign. but i dont think i will pass if ever i'll answer the "call". i need an enlightenment. everyone can change, anyway. bow.

seryoso, talking to Paps is the only way for me to find comfort.

kasal

someone asks me to be a wedding photographer on aug 8. 2008 (which reminds me of 8-8-8, a supposed to be very special day for me.) darn! i don't know, but i still don't have enough experience to be such. i have read numbers of books including scott kelby's but i still lack a damn application. its only a few days from now, i don't know if i can do it. i hope so.

God, i need an inspiration..